Today is Father's Day. I do my best not to think about it but I can't read any facebook posts without it staring at me, rubbing it in my face. It does get easier, I won't lie. My first couple of Father's Days without my dad were really rough. I could be found crying in the bathtub with a tall glass of scotch and some Cheetos.
I'm not there anymore.
I'm much better.
Now I just mope about the house a bit. I haven't even mustered up a real tear yet this year and that's what really has me sad. I don't want it to stop hurting. I don't want it to get any easier. I liked the pain. I enjoyed that somehow that made him closer to me. But I know that is the natural order of things and as more and more years go by it will get easier and easier. Someday I may not even care that Father's Day has come and gone. But that day isn't here yet so I'm going to relish every minute of my misery and stop wishing the day away but go out and enjoy it.
And save most of my drinking for tonight. Cheers, dad.