3 weeks, 5 days

Three weeks and five days until I board the plane for Dublin. Holy shit. I need to GET RID of my stuff!!! Crunch time. Now this is very real.

There are a bunch of things I was waiting for mom to help me with. I want her to go through my yarn to see what she wants before I try to sell what's left or give it away. She wants to go through my dye. But other than that....these things are my responsibilities! I need to figure out a way to sell them. It is such a weird experience to watch my life going away in bits and pieces. But it isn't my life at all, just an accumulation of stuff.

Time for breakfast.

respect the popcorn

I haven't been to the grocery store in over a month. Partly it's shear laziness. But the other reasons are that I'm very low on money (saving up for the trip and whatnot) and because I'm trying to eat down all the food I already have. I'm doing a pretty good job. Basically I have some trail mix, frozen bagels (but no cream cheese and almost no butter), and oatmeal left. I also have some popcorn kernels and (until this morning...now there are two) three mini bags of microwave popcorn.

I love popcorn. To me it is a main food group. I like it airpopped, microwaved, stove cooked and from the movie theatre. Pretty much anyway you serve it, I love popcorn. Recently, Orville Redenbacher came out with a Natural line and the box has 4 mini bags in it. I discovered the Salt and Black Pepper variety and fell in love. The problem was that once I found it, I couldn't seem to find it again. Until one day it magically appeared at the grocery store near my house. I was ecstatic. I bought two boxes.

Last time I went to the grocery store (over a month ago, remember) they were out. I was forced to buy the light butter variety. I had one pack of salt and pepper left, waiting until a special craving to eat it.......

This morning I woke up to see the bag in the trash can. A great sadness swept over me and I cried out. I tried not to be too upset. It is just popcorn afterall. And the girl who ate it doesn't live here and it was late and she was drunk when the travesty occurred.

But here's what bothers me: A.) why is being drunk an excuse ALWAYS for inappropriate behaviour? (and I'll admit I've used the excuse, too) and B.) I probably wouldn't be steaming about it still, about 9 hours after the discovery of the bag in the trash, if she had only just said "sorry". Instead I was told "see what happens when you save things for a special occasion?" STEAMING I AM. What the fuck were you doing in my cabinet anyhow? And then to lecture me on what I do with my own food??!!

I like this person, I really do. She's a fun girl to be around and I generally enjoy when she comes to visit. But seriously, when you're in someone else's home, respect their shit.

good omen

I like to think I had a good omen today. I was pulling my laundry out of the dryer today and there was a five pound note in the lint trap. England isn't one of my stops right now, but it seemed like a very positive sign. The other day my roommate found a $10 bill on the ground, but I found foreign money!!

I made yummy snickerdoodles today to take to my friend's going away party. One thing I know I will miss while I'm traveling is baking. Something I know I will have to buy or borrow or steal when I get a little bit settled, is some basic baking materials so that I can bake bake bake!!

just to recap

Just to recap:
I'm leaving the country. I'm going to Prague for 5 weeks to learn how to teach English as a foreign language. After the program....I would LOVE to be able to stay in Prague or Europe, but will go where I get a job. I was looking for a way to actually travel, see things, and this seemed like a great way to do it. So here I go!!

nothing much

I recovered from Father's Day without too much lasting damage. Yes, I ended up in a hot bath with a tall glass of Jameson and Harlem's equivalent of Cheetos, a cheesy snack mix. But I ended the day drunk and giggly, watching Dexter with the roommates.

My birthday party / going away party is official. The event is posted! It will all be so real! I get on a plane in 4 weeks and 2 days. Holy cow.

every June comes Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. I do my best not to think about it but I can't read any facebook posts without it staring at me, rubbing it in my face. It does get easier, I won't lie. My first couple of Father's Days without my dad were really rough. I could be found crying in the bathtub with a tall glass of scotch and some Cheetos.

I'm not there anymore.
I'm much better.

Now I just mope about the house a bit. I haven't even mustered up a real tear yet this year and that's what really has me sad. I don't want it to stop hurting. I don't want it to get any easier. I liked the pain. I enjoyed that somehow that made him closer to me. But I know that is the natural order of things and as more and more years go by it will get easier and easier. Someday I may not even care that Father's Day has come and gone. But that day isn't here yet so I'm going to relish every minute of my misery and stop wishing the day away but go out and enjoy it.

And save most of my drinking for tonight. Cheers, dad.

it's all no big deal

This morning I woke up to thoughts of my blender which led, obviously, to thoughts about my silverware. Both of these things I figured I would give to my niece to use while I'm away but might want back when/if I come back. But I couldn't help wondering, and I'm not proud of this, if she will treat them with the proper respect. Good grief. Get over yourself! Of course she will. And if something gets broken or lost, it is NO BIG DEAL. I could have broken or lost any number of the things I'm giving her, she's just lucky I haven't...yet....because I do have a good way of breaking things. I learned it, actually, from my sister, her mother. So we all come by it quite honestly and it is something I certainly can't hold against her. So, yes, she will be the recipient of my blender and my silverware, both Christmas gifts from my mom.

But I'm still thinking I'll put my $100 Kitchenaid PINK handmixer in storage. I'm not THAT giving!